This is my newest update on my site and I have to be honest with you. It was one of my hardest sets I've ever taken. One would think that a girl without the "perfect" body has to have a great confidence of herself and many times that's true. Although I'm alot more confident behind my computer than I am in public. I get to pick and choose what pictures I want to show you and edit out what part of the videos that I want to as well. The day of this shoot, I was feeling bad about myself. I was felt unpretty and unsure about what I was doing at the time. I actually broke down in tears in the middle of this set and didn't take any more pics the rest of the day. I know it's ridiculous and I am upset now that I didn't get more done but sometimes us girls just don't feel that great about ourselves. So next time you think that a girl hears she's hot every day and that you don't need to tell her, just tell her! You might could just make her day!
Sometimes pretty doesn't feel pretty!
|Interview I did about the Plus Size Community
|The original interview is HERE!
Shameless Angel
Kaobear on 06 12, 2009
I had a chance to interview ShamelessAngel over email a few days ago and with all that has been going on I have no yet been able to post it until now. She has some fascinating ideas on the Plus Sized Community and where it is going and I thought I would share them with you today.
1. In terms of acceptance in mainstream society, where do you see the Plus Sized Community?
I think many more men have become more accepting of plus size women and more men are accepting the fact that they may be attracted to a…well…fat woman. More men are bringing their friends to the BBW clubs and even though Big women may not be their cup of tea they still seem to enjoy themselves. However, I kind of feel like that’s a change in society as a whole. You see straight men or women letting themselves be dragged to a gay club with their gay friend. I think the mainstream society is becoming more accepting of all other communities and niches. There are
always those few people that can ruin a mood anywhere and say vulgar things about the plus size community. It’s something we will all have to learn to deal with.
2. How can we better that image?
The plus size community is a little like high school. There are so many little cliques and if you are part of one it’s a little hard to become involved in the other. Of course people will smile and pretend that you could possibly be their best friend but as soon as you turn your back the circle is sealed once again. I have tried to become part of some other circles just to be friends and somehow it always seems to feel like a competition. The plus size community needs to become more accepting. We constantly search for that acceptance in society yet we find it hard to be accepting within our own community.
3. What do you think of the terms we use, BBW, SSBBW, BHM, do you think they are right to be used?
To be honest when I think of any of those terms I immediately think of the BBW porn community. It seems like those terms are only used as a niche in porn or an identity when searching a singles network. In the end every person is different in what they find offensive. Some women find the word Big offensive but like the word fat, while others hate the word fat and would rather say overweight. While some embrace their fat and love to talk about their fat rolls and cellulite some still aren’t quite that accepting of it lol. It’s all just linguistics anyway. If you take it all in context it doesn’t make a difference.
4. Do you see yourself as an active member of the community outside of work related things?
To be honest I am not very active in the BBW community. Unless a friend invites me to a birthday party or I’m supporting someone at an event I’m not that active. I’ve never seen myself as different and don’t see other
s different so I’ve really just go wherever and be a part of whatever. I’m usually just support lol. Plus I’ve been to BBW events where I’ve been sneered at for being “too skinny” but once again that goes back to the BBW community not being all that accepting. I also don’t find myself dating men that are a part of the BBW community only because most have already dated every girl in my top friends on MySpace. I don’t want to be that next loop in the chain of BBWs and I don’t want it to cause controversy with my other BBW friends.
5. Do you have someone you look up to, or the opposite, in the Plus Sized Community?
There are plenty of people I look up to, I look up to every person that fights to make themselves accepted into what mainstream considers normal. I look up to every person that works hard for what they want to achieve and not just expect it to be handed to them, and I look up to every person that wants to make their lives better without trying to bring others down in the process.
6. Where do you see the community in ten years?
I’m pretty sure it will be where it is today with maybe a few more members. More men may start liking fat girls and their will most likely be more fat girls to like. There will be a few more plus size shows that come and go but I don’t see them being huge hits.
7. What are you up to in the next little while? (Websites, Conventions, Releases, etc.)
Well Hard Ten Entertainment is continuing to grow, we get new girls applying for websites every week. Unfortunately we don’t have the time and resources to take every new girl that applies. We do have two new hardcore solo girl sites coming soon so keep looking for those. I’m working on my store www.nomoregrannypanties.com, I’m also working on an information site called Plump Pages that I’m trying to make successful. We are also in the process of working on our first DVD that we are hoping to have out in August. Other than that there is too much to list without boring people lol. So check me out at www.shamelessangel.com!
New Blog Location
|I recently was talking to an online friend and I asked whether or not he thought I should change my blog over to wordpress. He advised me that I should. He said that the SEO would be better and that creative aspects are much higher. So I took the jump and hosted a wordpress blog on my website shamelessangel.com. The new blog has all my old entries and I will be updating both for a little while. Hopefully I can faze out this one sooner or later and have my blog completely at www.shamelessangel.com/blog so start reading it there now! :)
Shamelessangel.com/blog
Fan Thank you!
|I got around to the post office to pick up a package that had been left for me and I haven't had much time to get around to blogging about my package or thanking the person that sent it. I wanted to thank him in my blog for it to be a surprise because I know he reads it thoroughly and I thought he'd get a kick out of it. I never expect gifts from fans, after all I don't even do hardcore and well my fanbase is quite the small one compared to alot of girls but I recieved the nicest gift this week from a fan. It was nice, not only because it was sentimental but because it took alot of thought. He sent me stuffed animals, perfumes, cds of his band and several other items. As well as a long letter that explained each article in debth. It was such an amazing gift. RK I thank you, you made my week! It's people like you that make what I'm doing feel worth it :)
Just an update on what's going on
|I've been a little busy this week, I have people coming into town to go to Erotica LA tomorrow and I've been shooting a new girl this week. I also just purchased a new imac and an HD camera that I've been playing around with. I'm exhausted this week for some reason, I'm sure stress has something to do with it. I actually fell asleep during the Laker game today and just barely woke up for the last 2 minutes before overtime. At least I got to see the end lol. Is it strange that I want the Lakers to lose a few games just so it goes the full 7 games so I get more games to watch. I essentially want the Lakers to win game 7 of course lol! The art piece I posed for will be featured at The Hive gallery in LA on Saturday June 13th.
I'm going to try my hardest to make it there but I have to shoot in Fullerton. Check out my makeup artist's sculpture site http://www.imaginerick.com/index.php his work is really amazing and I was so happy about his makeup job on me. Many people have asked me if it was makeup or photoshop in the ouraboris picture and I assure you it was makeup. I arrive at the set at 12 noon and did not leave until slightly after 8PM. It was kind of a grueling experience, I had to stand for about 4 hours and get airbrushed. I just lost my train of thought lol, It's almost 3am and I figured I needed to blog. I actually did a photoset last night so I'll post some pics in the morning, but I wanted to show you the DVD cover art I did for my friend Hooks to give out at Erotica LA tomorrow! I didn't care about the edges, they'll be cut off anyway :)I have alot of fucking free shit to do for people in the morning so I guess I'll head to bed, hopefully I'm building good karma! lol
More To Love
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I saw the first preview of More to Love tonight while I was watching TV on Fox. When I first heard about it I was so sceptical that they would make a mockery of the plus size community. After all they were recruiting their girls at all the local BBW clubs in LA and Hollywood. None the less we always want to see the brighter things in a situation so I am hoping that it does good things for the plus size community instead of just making fun of them. The preview doesn't start out that great, it's all these girls crying about how bad their life is because they are fat and how they can't find love for that same reason.... Lame! I know I've heard around the twitter world that some BBWs are upset that the "bachelor" on the show is also fat. I don't think that's a horrible thing, I mean they don't put fat men on shows like the Bachelorette either. It only seems fair that both parties can be "More to Love" right? I just really hope the show isn't just a huge joke, I hope they don't have dates centered around eating and too many more interviews with girls crying about how they are fat. After all I don't think any of the girls on the show ever had trouble finding a man, they are all fairly beautiful "fat girls"
No need
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So I really didn't believe the amount of responses I received from my last blog. In all honesty I didn't know that many people read it. The truth is, as many of you know, I work constantly and never take much time to myself. I actually came to California by doing a plus size modeling shoot(non adult) and that's something I've always enjoyed. Now when I shoot it's basically only adult shoots for my website. Well about 3 weeks ago I was asked to do a shoot for a piece of art. It was a seven deadly sins theme and I was to be Greed. I was painted up like a snake and I was supposed to be eating my own tail. The shoot got me motivated to set up more shoots so I hit up all the photographers that had messaged me lately and let them know that I was available to shoot if they still wanted to shoot me. I went to the shoot and I had an absolutely amazing time. I met several local artist and they were very inspirational. One even does special effects for movies and asked if he could contact me for his next movie as one of the extras. As you can imagine, it really excited me. The past week I've done a lot of "soul searching". I've been putting so much time and effort into the business that I forgot to take any time for me. That's made me a little unhappy. Not necessarily manic depressive or anything lol but just not.. Fulfilled. There is so much I want to do with my life and so much I've put off. I know that Happy Endings are never as fairytale as we all want them to be but there are a few things I want to put first now and one of them is me.
Who am I?
|Who am I? Somewhere along the road I lost myself. I thought that point was when I had fallen into a deep depression in a long term relationship and I had invested every amount of time and energy I had into fantasy games such as Magic the Gathering and Lineage II. I looked at them as a release, a way to get away from the reality of my life and how unhappy I'd become, but in reality they had became a different type of prison that I had emerged myself into. I loved the games, I loved the people that played the games, these were some of the smartest, funniest and most talented people I had ever met and they communicated with me on my level. However; at the same time I was letting everything crumble down around me. I wouldn't go to college some days because I thought that that day didn't matter that much and I could just stay home and play games. Then I wouldn't want to do my homework. Engineering homework was such grueling homework that would take me several hours to work out so I'd get frustrated and wouldn't want to work on it anymore. Somehow I always managed to pass my engineering classes but the others suffered. I dropped classes here and there in order to have time to pass the engineering courses. Not many a semester but they eventually added up to where they didn't want to give me student loans anymore and well.. one C took away my full paid scholarship so I was left with no funding. Knowing I couldn't afford it on my own and I definately couldn't tell my parents the reason I couldn't get student loans I decided to go to work full time and take one semester off to save money. Cliche I know but I never went back to finish my bachelors degree. I dropped out of college with 102 credit hours completed out of 128 needed to finish my bachelors degree. Today I'm sitting here thinking, I lost myself then but 3 years later I'm still lost and trying to figure myself out. I'm 25 years old I should know what I want to do with my life and I should be working on getting there. I enjoy doing my website but everyday i know more that it's not going to get me the things I want out of life. I love designing websites even more than I enjoy doing my own, but it's once again something that is overrunning my life and not making that much revenue. There is alot of costs and risks involved in the porn industry. Yesterday a guy that I've been envious of and looked up to for quite a few years hit me up in a personal message. I was so thrilled and at the same time I was a little embarrassed, not because I'm embarrassed of myself or the way I look because that's what brought him to talk to me in the first place but because here I was chatting to someone I really looked up to and all I could think about was will he ever truly see me as an intelligent conversationalist or will he only see my huge ass. And of course after he whacked off to my website he pretty much didn't chat with me again. Maybe he's busy, I can give him that. He's a celebrity of a sort and has a ton of things other to do but that's what I think about now. I can't even have a valid friendship without thinking about what others think about what I do. Anyway that made me think about what I'm doing with my life and what I want to do with it. I'm looking to find myself, I think the first step is enrolling in college to finish up what I started.
Sometimes I don't feel like Shameless Angel
|Sometimes I get really excited about things and I do them very very well for awhile and then I get into a rut and don't feel like doing anything that pertains to "Shameless Angel". Sometimes Shameless Angel gets me depressed and although she really is who I am sometimes I want people to see me for me. To see the girl that hates to get up early in the morning, the girl that hates to sleep alone but usually does, the girl that loves to do for others as long as they are appreciative of what's being done, the girl that wears no makeup for days on end and wears jeans and tshirts on a daily, the girl that has alot more to give than just a certain amount of boobs and ass. Don't get me wrong I love being thought of as attractive or whatnot but to be honest I don't see myself as anything other than the girl next door. I get super excited when people email me, I find enjoyment in the simple things in life like birds or flowers. I fall in love with every song that mentions my name. I feel the need to defend myself. I've been in a rutt this past week. I haven't done my duties as a webmodel. It's time to get in gear. Even though I don't always feel beautiful, I love my latest set at www.shamelessangel.com!
I have a webcam show at June 8th at 6PM PST and June 17th at 11PM PST
Thank you for your patience
|I just wanted to thank all of you that have been members for being so patient with me and my site. It was down for about a week while switching servers. Lunarpages, my previous host decided that they were no longer going to allow adult content on their servers so they up and suspended all my sites, so not only were my sites down i had no wayof retrieving the content through FTP. Some of you may not know what I'm talking about but my new server was nice enough to download all the content and put it back up. It ended up taking alot longer but everything is up and working fine now. IF you are a member please email me at shamelessangel69@yahoo.com and let me know your login and I can extend your membership! Those of you that aren't members yet I'd love to have you as new members :) Check out my latest update!
